Salvation

Welcome to my world

Where chaos is present instead of silence

This darkness is my only light

Found Heaven in my personal Hell

The person you knew is no longer me

An ocean of emotions

Always ready to drown me

Not wanting to escape

Teary eyes and cuts everywhere

But a cute smile hammered on my face

My hair once long

Chopped off without much thought

Blood flows beautifully

Liberating every time

Some have seen scars

But what will change?

Three meaningless words

“Are you okay?”

Voices take me towards a bridge

Someone lightly whispered

“I’m here to save you”

I see a familiar face

Smiling genuinely at him

I throw myself towards salvation

Affliction

A dead figure in front of the mirror

Eyes that have shed tears

And bloodless lips which quiver

A harmful acquaintance

Leading to breathlessness

The chasm between me and others

And my inability to bridge gaps

Now a vortex of emotions

Tomorrow totally empty

Falling into a black hole

My sanity and my thoughts

Standing on my knees

Looking towards the sky in despair

Knives and blades smelling fresh

Roses and candies for children to gain

The path to my soul

Blocked with smoke, pills and liquid

Standing in the middle of the road

With shrilly voices in my head

I close my eyes

And say goodbye

To the hills and sunrise

Easiest hello and hardest goodbye

It’s hard to say goodbye to someone who meant a lot to you, with whom you shared everything, hung out and did crazy activities. You meet people and strike a chord with them immediately sometimes. They leave deep imprints in your life that change you forever. Every moment spent with them is not less than a blessing. The fact that it’s easy to share sorrows and joys is so liberating. I found friends who are loyal, loving, trustworthy, who spread happiness, are not judgmental, and stay during the darkest hours of my life.

Bunking lectures, terrible scooty rides, talking about future is how we spend our time together. They are the ones who always saw the best in me despite any of my shortcomings. They motivate me to follow my dreams and ask me not to think about the outcomes. They stand by me whenever I feel alone. Also I was able to discover myself because of them. They try not to take my grumpiness seriously. Reality comes along with this blessing. Often when we are having a good time we don’t wish to face realities. One of those that I’d like to talk about is adulthood.

Adulthood is an uninvited guest that brings tons and tons of responsibilities. After college our priorities change. Taking care of our parents, work, marriage, children etc lands on the top position of our priority list. After 2 years we may part ways as we have different goals in mind and will focus on trying to achieve it. This scares me sometimes as I’ll have to say ciao amigos once again. It is ironical because my dad had a transferable job, we moved to new cities frequently but when the time came to say the dreadful word I chose to look for a reason to stay back.

I have played the scene many times in my head, tried to look at the positive side but the fact is that I know it will hurt. Moving on is not an easy task and requires a lot of patience. Some can do it without much effort but some like me find it impossible. I will let Time help me as it is the best healer.

My time with my friends is limited. We don’t talk much about parting but know that it’ll happen. The time to pack our bags and start everything all over again will come soon and maybe someday we’ll meet, reminiscing our past.

Nos vemos amigos.

Haqiqat

Tumhe dekh ke aankhe bhar aati hai. Itni yaadein jo humne saath jee palat kar dekhti rehti hai. Hume mohabbat thi tumhari niyat aur tumhare mann se. Nahi chaha tha tumhe tumhare surat ki wajah se.

Kabhi gaal khichna, kabhi mazzak karna, saath rehte rehte waqt kitna jaldi guzar gaya. Hum dukhi hue kisi baat se toh chupke se aake tum hume gale lagate. Kahan ghum ho gaye woh din jaha hum khul ke muskuraate rehte the. Na apni khabar na duniya ki parvah. Bs aaj mein jee kar khush hua karte the.

Khuda se fariyad ki ke tumhe humare naseeb mein humesha ke liye kyu nhi likha usne?Khud ko aaine mein dekh kar pehchaan hi nhi paate. Badle tum ho aur badle hum hai. Tabahi aati hai bina baataye par apne chehre pe muskaan rehti hai.

Dard baanta karte the pehle par ab khamosh rehna pasand karte hai. Maine khud ke haatho khud hi ko maar diya aur tumne tanhayion mein rehna apna naseeb samajh liya.

Sazaaien di hai andar hi andar aur kabhi khud ko maaf karna zaruri nhi maana. Farak nhi padta kyuki khud ke saath aisa karna sahi samjha maine.

Wahi waqt jo kabhi humara dost tha aaj imtehaan le raha hai. Haare hue lagte hai jab bhi ek dusre ko dekhte hai. Tum bechain mat hona bs yahi dua hai.

Kabhi na kabhi azaad honge hum apni bediyon se. Kabhi na kabhi humara saath rehna likha hoga.

Sukoon paya tha maine tumhare pyaar mein ab sukoon dhundungi tumhari dosti mein.