Wanderer in search of Peace

I choose an unfamiliar path

Sun rays gently kiss my cheeks

Ecstasy oozing from within

When I see green open fields

And mountains dressed in white

A gentle breeze from the East

Makes my hair sway in synchrony

Fallen leaves painted in warm tints

Fleeing away when I look at them

Little birds singing an evening melody

Beautiful enough to shame Mozart

I lay on the grass

Inhaling the sweet scent of the earth

Never thinking about the city I left behind

A river races nearby

Dipping my hand

It’s coolness calms my restless mind

Shutting my eyes

I see myself wrapped in Nature’s arms

Hearing a distant voice

I realise it’s the sun whispering goodbye

Red Wine

Spilling a little red wine

Drop by drop in a straight line

So hard to clear the stains

Would cover ‘em up with fabrics

Dived in a vortex of fire earlier

Now from the terrace watching doves fly

Wondering where companionship went

Bags of stones weighing heavier everyday

But are featherlight when I spill red wine

Dog and Master

Come here bitch

Stopping suddenly I look at him

Heart is screaming loudly

Pleading that I resume walking

Ensuring that a long skirt embraced me

Why should I fear?

My master won’t be maniacal by nature

But when night walks in

He chases me on desolate streets

Staring top to toe

I wondered whether he saw my inner beauty

Nope! it wasn’t what I thought

Maybe dreaming about ten good thrusts

My magician’s wand slipped out

For months and months he played with it

Cries for help died a brutal death

I saw my fences lay shattered

As darkness took away all that mattered

Unkahe Alfaaz

Tu saanjh ki tarah doobti hai

Teri awaaz hawa ke jhoke jaisi

Band darwaaze ke bheetar

Kya gam aisa jo chupa rahi

Aasman saja tere liye

Taare aur chaand khele luka chuppi

Kaale kaale baadlon ke peeche

Sunhere khwaab laapata hote gaye

Jaise jaise woh aate rahe

Maile haath pade unke tere jism pe

Pata hi nhi chala

Kab kho gayi unki baahon mein

Hothon se tujhe kuch aise chua

Seene pe khanjar jaisa

Usi chamdi pe mitti ki khushboo thi

Jo aaj jaam ke boondon se mehkti hai

Sooraj ki chamak pukaare tujhe

Kyu parda lagaaye na taakti unhe?

Scars

Not one of your toys

Not an object to satisfy your lust

You gag and put a collar

Trying to restrict my movement

You want me to moan in pleasure

But all I can think of is

To set myself free

The law says you are my husband

But the man with me is a rapist

As I am pushed on the bed

You grab a knife, threatening to end my world

Resistance so feeble and dipped in culture

Seasoned by ignorance of all our elders

Beating me black and blue

When I refuse to undress myself

A lick here and a kiss there

You leave and take away my soul

Why am I carrying family honour?

Why can’t I live the way I want?

Marriages claimed to be sacred

But the law so spineless that I can’t be saved

I get up and recall the days

At age ten my uncle

At age fifteen my boyfriend

It’s forgotten forever as I have been asked

Asked always to ‘SHUSH’

The Sunshine Blogger Award

Thank you Grudging Fret for nominating me for this award. It’s is my first nomination of Sunshine blogger Award. She is a splendid writer. Read her latest work “Don’t find flaws in flawless”. Also do visit her blog.

Grudging Fret

RULES

1.Thanks the blogger, who nominated you and provide the link of his or her website or blog.

2. Answer the 11 question given to you.

3. Nominate 11 other bloggers.

4. Ask your nominees 11 other questions.

5. Notify your nominees once,  after you upload your post

THE ANSWERS:-

1.What’s your timekiller?

Writing, learning Spanish and exercising.

2.Do you think that blogging alone can help you to share your thoughts?

No I believe there are other ways too.

3.Are you a good listener?

Yes

4.Who is your favourite author?

Paulo Coelho, Jeffery Archer, Preeti Shenoy, Khaled Hosseini.

5.Write the things that you do when you are at the peak of extreme anger.

I usually punch pillows or end up hurting people close to me.

6.Why should bloggers follow your blog?

I usually write about topics that are considered taboo. People think that it’s incorrect to talk about certain things. I’ll be glad if my blogs help in removing stigmas attached around them.

7.When did you realise your love for blogging?

Emotions aren’t supposed to be ignored, and when no one is ready to listen to you then rely on good ol’ pen and paper. I realised this a few months ago and started writing.

8.How would you describe the pride of a human?

Is it right to judge others when all of us are imperfect?

9.What’s your favourite food?

Ravioli, Pav Bhaji and Pizza

10.Do you think that beauty matters?

Inner beauty matters a lot.

11.How can we assist the mentally disabled children?

By learning about intellectual disability, being patient, believing in them and by sensitising others too.

My questions

  1. What makes you happy?
  2. Who is your favourite author?
  3. Who is the most important in your life right now ?
  4. Write 5 good things about yourself.
  5. Favourite movie?
  6. If you had to choose one of your blogs, which would be your favourite?
  7. Why do you blog?
  8. What was the most challenging moment in your blogging journey so far?
  9. What do you miss the most during this quarantine time?
  10. If you could visit any country, where would you go?
  11. How do you tolerate people’s mistakes?

Nominees are:-

banterrepublic.blog

ridamqazi.wordpress.com

s4niy4.wordpress.com

bintebashir.wordpress.com

cocainetrippped.wordpress.com

journeythroughlife591163021.wordpress.com

beoutoftheboxlife3.wordpress.com

lancesheridan.com

rohanparekh.com

miyoshiblog1.wordpress.com

theeternalwords.wordpress.com

Behind the Mask

Walking alone at night

The streets filled with dim lights

In the deepest and darkest hours

Paths filled with tribulations

Bleak hopes and sweet dreams

Been asked not to dwell on these

A spiralling mind inside

But a smile outside

Reassuring that it’ll be fine someday

But what should be done today?

Mindless chattering night and day

Distracting a bit everyday

Addicted to masks of happiness

Can’t go out without them

Constantly asked the same question

Why are you crying?

Cuz tired of trying.

Poked by One Sided Love

A major chunk of human race must be experiencing it and so am I. At first the fact of being stuck in one sided love seemed absurd. If a person doesn’t like me then why should I keep showering love? Why should I be worried about them all the time? What’s the point of putting myself into misery? We are frequently bombarded with these questions or probably more. At times we feel logic and rationality slipping away.

A message that makes your day, a cute smile letting you think that he/she cares about you or a handshake qualified to make you blush. That’s how one-sided love is where too much importance is given to the beloved.

It feels like entering a battlefield every day. Always controlling myself, being extra conscious about how I behave, looking presentable, standing in a certain way and doing all this in front of the mirror so that nothing goes wrong. Despite cross checking, even the smallest blunders come back to haunt me again and again. Of course how can I forget to mention that dear ol’ Cupid prefers to wound me with his arrows but not the one whom I love. Isn’t it funny?

In unrequited love there is one person wetting their pillow and the other who is completely clueless. One person willing to sacrifice everything and the other who is ignorant. I won’t blame individuals for not understanding. It’s just the way it is. Often facing others emotions can be scary. We might not be prepared to see how damaged and broken they are.

One sided love is capable of making me question myself. Double trouble is when the mind hurls harsh comments and magnifies minor flaws. It leads towards self-hatred, feelings of never being wanted by anyone and overthinking about what went wrong etc.

You might be waiting for a paragraph on solutions. But I really don’t have any. Friends can be a great source of motivation and will help you out to a certain extent. Maybe talking to them could make you feel better. I did it but now suppressing my emotions seems more convenient. I wouldn’t suggest this to anyone as it causes more harm than anyone could ever imagine.

We want to be mad at the person for not loving back at all. The wait is terribly annoying but hardly anything happens. What I understood from being in one sided love was that it is hard to let go, you’ll judge yourself harshly in case you have low self-esteem (true in my case), it’ll feel as if you are stabbed by daggers (exaggeration?) but still it is ABSOLUTELY OKAY! There is no need to feel bad about loving someone even if it is not reciprocated.

Salvation

Welcome to my world

Where chaos is present instead of silence

This darkness is my only light

Found Heaven in my personal Hell

The person you knew is no longer me

An ocean of emotions

Always ready to drown me

Not wanting to escape

Teary eyes and cuts everywhere

But a cute smile hammered on my face

My hair once long

Chopped off without much thought

Blood flows beautifully

Liberating every time

Some have seen scars

But what will change?

Three meaningless words

“Are you okay?”

Voices take me towards a bridge

Someone lightly whispered

“I’m here to save you”

I see a familiar face

Smiling genuinely at him

I throw myself towards salvation

Affliction

A dead figure in front of the mirror

Eyes that have shed tears

And bloodless lips which quiver

A harmful acquaintance

Leading to breathlessness

The chasm between me and others

And my inability to bridge gaps

Now a vortex of emotions

Tomorrow totally empty

Falling into a black hole

My sanity and my thoughts

Standing on my knees

Looking towards the sky in despair

Knives and blades smelling fresh

Roses and candies for children to gain

The path to my soul

Blocked with smoke, pills and liquid

Standing in the middle of the road

With shrilly voices in my head

I close my eyes

And say goodbye

To the hills and sunrise